Saturday, August 18, 2012

Over-21-years-of-age Daughters' Dating SOP


In order to address the constant growing-up of my daughters and the societal craziness in which we reside, the following guidleline has been developed and issued.

Over-21-years-of-age Daughters' Dating Standard Operating Procedure:

This SOP applies in full to:
1) All of my daughters over the age of 21 and under the age of 26 who:
a) have not yet obtained either their bachelors degree
b) have not yet been certified/licensed in the professional career of their choice
c) remain financially dependant

2) Any polite young Christian gentleman who is:
a) completing his graduate studies
b) financially independent
c) home from deployment
d) working diligently and excessively at his career
e) attending a date with one of my daughters.

Date: A social, one-to-one, interactive event involving two relatively mature persons of the opposite sex.

Daters: The two relatively mature persons of the opposite sex who are participating in a social, one-to-one, interactive event.

Group Date: More than one pair of daters participating in a similar social, one-to-one, interactive event at the same time and in the same place.

Authorized Types of Dates:
1) Church Service: The Church's doctrine must conform to the Lutheran Confessions as expressed in the Book of Concord. The Church does not have to be Lutheran. There must be at least 12 people in attendance at the service.

2) Lunch: Lunch must take place in a public venue shared by at least 12 other persons. Each dater will either pay for or bring their own meal and beverage.  No alcohol or drugs are permitted.

Note: Group dates are highly encouraged provided that all particpants conduct themselves in accordance with this guideline.

Church Service attendance may commence no earlier then 08:00 and conclude no later that 17:00 or sundown which ever occurs first. The total elapsed time for such event shall not exceed two hours.

Lunch attendance may commence no earlier than 10:45 and conclude no later than 16:00 or sundown which ever occurs first. The total elapsed time for such event shall not exceed two hours.

The shall be no more than two dates per calendar week.  The calendar week shall start at 08:00 on Sunday.

There shall be no more than one date with the same young gentleman in any given week.

A lunch date and a Church service date may NOT be conducted on the same day.

1) Physical: Hand holding in transit (walking) is permitted.  Only opposite (right hand to left hand or left hand to right hand) shall be permitted. Same hand (right hand to right hand or left hand to left hand) hand holding is not authorized.

Foot-to-foot incidental contact is acceptable provided both persons are wearing shoes. Sandals are not consider to be shoes.

A small closed-mouth peck on the cheek shall bepermitted but not required upon the satisfactory completion of a third date with the same polite young Christian gentleman who is either completing his graduate studies, financially independent, home from deployment, or working diligently and excessively at his career. This contact shall last no more than two seconds and shall not be in conjunction with any other physical contact.

2) Financial: There shall be no sharing, borrowing, or talk of money.

3) Emotional: Laughter, smiling, and happiness are encouraged. Anger, jealousy, loud-talking, teasing, rebellious activity, threats, ultimatums, disregard for this SOP, and sexual innuendo will be the cause for the immediate cancellation of the current and any future dates.  There will be absolutely no sharing of secrets, disappointments, ailments, or phobias.  Falling in love is strictly prohibited.

4) Social:  Although the "date" in and of itself is a public and social event, there will  be no references made that imply social connectivity or obligation between the daters.  For example, the terms boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, partner, going-steady, honey, baby, in love, et al, are deemed to be absolutely inappropriate.

Prohibited Activities:
1) Violation of the standards described above
2) Any and all activities not permitted by the standards described above
3) The two daters being in a car together whether alone or not alone
4) The two daters being alone together
5) Inappropriate dress, language or conduct
6) Poor manners
7) Either dater entering the residence of the other dater or the residence of an opposite sex friend of the other dater
8) Any violation or criticism of the spirit of this guideline

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