Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Because The State Loves You
It must do the following to you:
Arrest you for shingling your own home.
Arrest you for selling raw milk.
Arrest you for distributing free pamphlets.
Arrest you for legally carrying a concealed weapon.
Fine you for selling lemonade.
Arrest you for swearing.
Arrest you for asking a judge questions on his way to court.
Arrest you for asking questions at a city council meeting.
Arrest you for video taping police while they are performing their duties in public.
Arrest you for video taping a public policy meeting in a public venue.
Arrest you for feeding homeless people.
Arrest you for locking your pets in a parked car for a brief period of time.
Arrest you for standing around on a public sidewalk
Arrest you for dancing in public.
Arrest you for reading the Bible aloud in public.
Arrest you for not giving your child medication that they have a reaction to.
Arrest you for merely linking to sites that contain copyrighted material.
Arrest you for walking down a sidewalk while texting.
Arrest you for giving out hugs.
Arrest you for farting.
Arrest you for carrying a Bic lighter and multi-tool.
Fine you for eating doughnuts in public playground.
And that’s just in the past 6 months.
Note, that I didn’t even touch on the evil horrors of adults voluntarily trading money for recreational drugs like tobacco, alcohol, pot, ecstasy or cocaine between themselves.
But these acts of benevolence pale in comparison to the outpouring of love that occurs when:
The State beats you for being handcuffed in a patrol car.
The State beats you for not signing a confession.
The State beats you because your kid committed suicide.
The State kills you because you are homeless.
The State beats you because you didn’t zip up your sweater.
The State destroys your property because you are homeless.
The State beats you for clapping your hands.
The State beats you for video taping police.
The State kills you for getting into an argument with your mother.
The State kills you for defending your home from armed invaders.
It is difficult for me to express my level of gratitude to the State in its efforts to keep me safe from myself.
Without the State, I might walk down the street texting my friend about pot while carrying a shingling hammer, distributing free pamphlets about where to buy raw milk, all while video taping myself in action. If anyone tried to do that in real life the entire world would implode in an apocalyptic disaster. Only the State can keep us safe from ourselves.